24 May 2018

Promises // Dada's diary

Hi.

Do you see the title? OK, let's just jump into it. 
Actually, let me think about this a bit more. Or, better said - let me over-think it. Because that is what I usually do. And I know, a lot of you do it as well.

Tell me, do you keep promises? Do you give promises? And if you do, are you able to cheat on people you gave the promise to? Or have you been betrayed?
You know, I was taught since the very beginning of my life that if I promise something to somebody, I should do it so. Just to stay strong for my words. And not to promise something I am not able to do. And most importantly - not to lie when it comes to promises I gave.

Promises are here to show us that we can build trust between each other. They give us a great feeling when someone believes in you. Promises also teach us how fragile is the line of trusting somebody that they would do what they promised to you.

Now, when I am writing this, one thing goes on my mind - what is actually the promise? Do you understand the promise only when the particular person says "I promise you"? Or do you consider it even when somebody says "I will do it for you" or "You can count on me"?
I take those ones as promises as well. And I even usually believe people will act upon them. Just because I have that faith in people.

Later I get upset. So many times, cannot count it anymore. Like that day...
I was promised to be rewarded in some way. And that motivated me. It was not maybe or in the future. It was a statement that I would get something if I did something. I did it, spent hours and prioritised it in my life. I worked to reach the "finish line". And than - the promise disappeared and the work I maange to be done went away from me without being rewarded.
I did not put this situation here to make you guess if it happened in a personal life or in a professional life of myself. I wrote about it because I would like to know if there is more people who give promises and they do not fulfill them out there. Do not it eat them from inside? Hunt them in the sleep?
How do they feel? Does it hurt them when they realise basically betrayed other human being? Do they feel guilty? Ashamed? Or they just wave with a hand and go on?
Come on, the person who they gave the promise feels it. It is a pain after all. Especially when the person believed in them. How can they say and promise something and not even try to keep up with it?

I am also just a human and it happened to me too. I was not able to accomplish everything I promised to people. But I did try. And, at the end, I somehow finish everything. Or almost everything. I say almost because I made two promises I was not able to fulfilled. One of those promises died with my mum and one is somewhere, buried deeply inside of me however ready to scream when I decide to give a promise to anybody. It reminds me how important is to think twice before I say something.
I love when I can give a promise and achieve the expected result. For example at work. The feeling brought by doing the good job counts for a lot. It is even more miraculous  personal life. I promised to my dad that everything would be OK and, as it turned out, it was. I said my grandma I will be there for her and I was when she needed me. And I made some promises to myself as well. I have not reached all of them, not yet. But I am working on them.

Lately, I except one promise. I keep waiting for it. I am almost sure it will never come (and it should not because it can destroy me a bit) I still hope I will hear it. Unfortunately I cannot speak freely  of what the thing is, that's deep in my soul and I need it to stay there. Maybe forever. The worst is, that even if this promise will be said at the end, it will hurt. This way or that way. It is like a circle in which I am stacked. To be honest, I got myself inside so I should not complain. But I though it would not go as it is going. How should I have known....

13 May 2018

Travel diary - Low Tatras spring 2018 (1.day) // Dada's diary

Hi everybody :-)

I have decided to document the whole journey across the beautiful Low Tatras in Slovakia which I took with friends of mine. We are four friends and mountains bring at least some of us together. We spent 5 amazing days together and because of me, them and also as an inspiration for you, I am bringing almost complete (or what I surely remember) story here. If you have/will have any questions - please ask, shout out loud, do not hesitate to start knowing more if you are interested to take this kind of adventure on your own. In the last post/article (I have separated them - one for each day) I will write you what this journey gave me, took away from me, taught me and why my life has changed because of it so very much.

4.5.2018

17:30
We are supposed to meet at the train station in Žilina. Me and Tomáš are arriving there at 17:20, calling to Miro where are they. Well guess where - waiting for us at the station pub, chilling with beers. Tomáš is ordering beer as well and I am introducing myself to Katka. After not even 2 minutes we are laughing and chatting as proper girls would do so if they constantly came to liking each other. Miro is saying that tomorrow at the same time we might find ourselves back there in that pub, not being able to do it, to walk all that way (100 kilometres, even a little bit more).

17:45
Finally, the train should be coming, 15 minutes delayed does not really bother us. However, I am getting hungry. Tomáš is saying he is pretty sure the train will come to the second platform. And as we are finding out a minute later, he was right. I can see that "winning" smile. "Well wait, you will pay for it" we are saying to him :-D.

18:10
After some time, we stopped in the middle of nowhere, for the first 5 minutes I am not realising we are not moving further. Never mind, we are having great fun, drinking some Slivowitz (Slivovica) and talking about everything. 
Tomáš decides to go off the train for a toilet, I am laughing that the train will leave him there. He is coming back and again, he is wearing that "winning" smile. Once I might hurt him because of that.
We are asking the steward what is happening and she says that the train driver did not stop at the planned station so we have to wait for police officers to check out of him. She also mentions that the driver is probably drunk.

18:30
The police officers are here, we are joking that it is our mistake the driver got drunk, he saw us at the station and immediately gave it up. Could not carry us the whole way to Poprad with a clear mind, too dangerous. 

20:45
An hour delay has passed and we are in the town of Poprad. Our accommodation should be there, just 3 minutes by walk from the station is, Miro statement. It is not, it actually takes us to walk there 6 minutes. Miro screwed it up, we are making deserved fun of him.
On the way to find our accommodation me and Katka smell lilac very strongly but cannot see it anywhere. The smell is so intensive. Probably somebody wants to drug us up and we are starting to making up stories. "Well, they do not have to, we have our Slivowitz" we are saying at the end.
And here we are, in front of the building. What should we do, we do not know, the door is locked. We decide for not to knock but Tomáš had to try to knock a bit. Nothing is happening so we are getting nearer to the door and looking inside. It must be horrifying for anybody if they go around but we do not really care. Miro is calling to the owner. The owner is coming, letting us go inside and start to explain some house rules, asking for our ID cards and giving us keys. I do not know what he is trying to say, I am laughing with Katka as never. The funniest thing for us is that we have no idea why we are laughing. Tomáš is asking us if we know what the owner said. We are just laughing more, trying to stay at least a bit quiet, people are sleeping upstairs. Miro is asking us where to go but we are repeating that we do not know. So, as the tallest one, he is asking the owner where to go even the owner said it at least twice and I cannot breathe from laughing so much. 
The owner is OK, laughing a bit with us, understands we are heading a huge adventure.

21:10
After a good quick shower we are going to have the last shot of Slivowitz for that day, but I am refusing, already half sleeping so Tomáš almost carries me to my bed.

21:30
Sleeping as I have never slept in my life.